


Guns & Roses

by T_5Seconds



Series: AUs of the same rarepair [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Secret Relationship, but i actually kinda gloss over that bit oops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-24 22:14:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30079134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/T_5Seconds/pseuds/T_5Seconds
Summary: Look. Sometimes you meet one of your enemies in a coffee shop. And you accidentally fall in love. And now you're hiding it from your team of superhero friends. Happens all the time.
Relationships: Clint Barton & Phil Coulson & Natasha Romanov, Phil Coulson/Loki
Series: AUs of the same rarepair [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2213079
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	Guns & Roses

**Author's Note:**

> i've been writing this for months and to be honest i don't even know if it makes sense to anyone who isn't me

Agent Coulson is a man most people can't see as such. 

He's professional, sharp, bland. He does paperwork for fun. The only mundane skills he has are ones he learned from undercover missions. 

His closest friends know he can sing karaoke. This is, as far as they are concerned, his deepest secret. 

Agent Coulson himself considers his deepest secret the fact that he knows how to braid hair. 

\--- 

It starts publicly. It starts exciting. It starts with a scepter through the heart and a failed invasion of the world. 

That is not how it ends, not really. As far as SHIELD is concerned, though, that was the last remarkable time they spoke. 

Agent Coulson survives his injuries. Loki escapes his binds. 

Two enemies, with perhaps a more exciting beginning than most. Not anything special. 

Nothing special starts that way. 

\--- 

Loki's hair is often braided. This isn't too strange, especially when compared with the rest of him, but it is a question. 

Who braids his hair? 

Thor claims that what is an intimate gesture on Earth is infinitely more meaningful on Asgard. To touch someone's hair is already a sign of closeness. To braid it is only done between family or lovers. 

This, too, is not the most ridiculous concept. Loki could love someone, someone could love him. But it is a question. 

\--- 

"I heard Clint got new arrows. They're explosive, go off anywhere between five to twenty seconds after they're activated." 

"Ooh. Thanks for the tip. I've been debating, recently, between two plans. To turn New York into Candyland, or to drop temperatures to freezing and let it get snowed in." 

"Hmm. I'd go with Candyland, more creative. Sounds fun, too." 

Coulson finishes the fishtail braid. He pauses, looking at a white rose on his nightstand, then tucks it in. 

Loki runs his hair over the braid. He pauses at the rose. 

"Accessorizing now, are we?" 

"If you'd prefer, take it out. Here on Midgard, though, roses are usually a symbol of love." 

Loki quirks a brow. 

He leaves it in. 

\--- 

It begins with murder and war. It continues in a coffee shop. 

Loki- or Luke, as he told the barista his name is- does not have his wallet. 

He's wearing a slight illusion. Not enough to drastically change his appearance, but enough to not be arrested. 

Not that it matters anyway. Apparently, he cannot pay for his coffee. 

But someone else can. 

"Sorry, sir, but we can't exactly give you free coffee." 

"I'll pay for it." 

_Of all the people._

Agent Coulson, presumably off duty at the moment, pays for his coffee. 

Loki is wearing an illusion. He is not quite sure, all of a sudden, if it works. 

\--- 

Loki turns New York into Candyland. After the initial surprise wears off, people don't really mind. In fact, they seem to enjoy it. 

Doesn't stop the Avengers from hunting him down. The seven of them are as effective as ever. 

Agent Coulson is ruthless and practical. One of his shots clips Loki in the shoulder. 

He doesn't spare a second to look apologetic. They are each other's secret, and there is no place for apologies in a cover. 

Loki knocks him back into a street lamp turned candy cane and escapes. He is sorry, but now isn't the time for that. 

They can be sorry later. 

\--- 

The braiding starts casually. Loki's staying over, and his hair is a mess. 

Phil offers to braid it. 

Loki freezes like a deer in headlights, but when Phil offers to drop the idea and never speak of it again, he shakes his head. 

"I don't mind. You just startled me." 

Phil can tell there's more to that story. Loki obviously doesn't want to talk about it. 

Loki leans back and Phil starts combing the tangles from his hair. 

\--- 

Loki sits with Agent Coulson. It's only fair, the man _did_ pay for his coffee. 

"Are you in the habit of paying for other people's food?" 

He smiles. 

"Sometimes." 

On one hand, Loki respects that answer. Vague. Mysterious. 

On the other, it is _infuriating._

"You know, I am trying to start a conversation. You could deign to be a bit more specific." 

"I could." 

Loki stares at him for a few moments before he laughs. 

"That works too, I suppose. Well, if you're going to give me _that_ to work with, I'll work with it. What do you think of the weather?" 

Coulson shakes his head, smiling incredulously. The weather today is perfectly average and very boring, and they both know it. 

"You monster," he jokes, "I thought you _wanted_ conversation!" 

"I do! Go on, converse!" 

They're both laughing. 

\--- 

Phil patches up Loki's shoulder. Loki heals a scrape on the back of Phil's head. 

"I'm sorry." 

"I'm sorry, too." 

They're words said all too often. 

"I wish," he starts, and then pauses. Phil gestures with his hand- _go on._

"I wish we weren't in this mess. I wish I could be with you properly, I wish we could hold hands and see movies and not try to kill each other on a weekly basis." 

"I wish so too, love. One day, we'll get there." 

Phil plucks the rose from his pocket and tucks in behind Loki's ear. 

"One day. I promise." 

\--- 

Loki's increasingly elaborate braids are a source of great confusion. And of great conspiracies. 

There are entire pockets of the internet dedicated to puzzling out Loki's hairdresser. 

SHIELD would be trying to delete them, but entire pockets of SHIELD are also dedicated to the mystery. It is suspected that there's overlap between the two groups. 

Clint shakes his head, saying that they shouldn't even pay this much attention to Loki. 

He participates in the betting pool anyway. 

\--- 

"Alright, fine, I see we're not getting anywhere here. Thank you for buying me coffee." 

"You're welcome." 

Coulson smiles at him and something warm curls in Loki's stomach. Damn. Out of all his enemies to buy him coffee, why'd it have to be this one? 

Not that he'd change it. 

The next hour is spent mostly in comfortable quiet, occasionally broken by conversation. It's the most relaxed Loki has felt in months. 

Coulson throws out his own drink, then takes Loki's and throws that away as well. 

"Thank you. Again." 

Loki gets up to hold the door from him. 

"Ah, it seems it's my turn to thank you." 

"You're being exceptionally nice to me. This is quite literally the least I could do." 

"Hmm." 

He steps through the door. New York bustles around them. 

"Still. Thank you, Loki." 

"...How long have you known that?" 

Coulson puts a finger to his lips, eyes bright with secrets. 

And he's gone. 

\--- 

They don't get much time together. Before they met, Phil didn't take much time off, and it would be suspicious to do so now. 

Still, he does have his yearly scheduled break. It's two weeks long. 

Once, Phil might have disliked it. A mandatory time when he could not work. 

Now, he relishes it. 

They've spent several months planning where to go. By the time the break finally comes around, they've settled on Norway. 

They've been together for two years, and this is the first time they've publicly gone dancing. 

Loki does have a spell applied that will stop anyone from recognizing them. He's been working on it for months. 

Still, Phil can see his face as they dance, and they're no different from anyone else on the floor. It was worth it. 

Loki's smile nearly hurts his face. A waist-length braid whips around behind him, filled with white roses. 

\--- 

SHIELD's betting pool changes constantly. Every time a new development in what has come to be known as "The Roses Case" comes about, whoever's in the lead shifts. 

As time goes on, it changes again. Now there are several betting pools. 

There are specific categories, and specific people, and specific categories of specific people. 

Agent Coulson does not lower himself to betting pools. Publicly. 

Anyone who knows the results is well aware that he's monitoring the situation very carefully. 

It is assumed this is because it concerns Loki. This is both correct and very wrong. 

Agent Coulson being the one braiding Loki's hair has four total votes. Out of several thousand. 

\--- 

A new villian shows up. They're dramatic, nefarious, the whole package. 

Strangely, they get taken down very easily. 

Not that anyone knows why, of course. Agent Coulson's direct knowledge of their plans is pure coincidence. 

If you asked someone who really knew what happened, they'd say the villian tried to team up with Loki. 

As far as double agents go, someone who tried to take over the world could not be better. 

\--- 

Loki lets his hair grow out. As time goes on, his braids go from shoulder length to waist. 

The number of roses in it grow too. From one tucked in to nearly a dozen. 

Once, while fighting, Rogers slices off Loki's hair. Only a few inches, but the god is _pissed._

The Captain is in medical for a week. 

\--- 

After they go dancing, the pair return to where they're staying. 

A cottage they've rented. It gives off the feel of home. It's going to be sad to leave it. 

Of course, they're not going to have to leave it. They don't know that yet. 

"Walk with me, love?" 

"Oh! Certainly." 

\--- 

There is a theory that the reason things have been so easy recently is due to a double agent. 

There is a betting pool on this, too. 

Which villian is secretly on their side? 

Loki is a surprisingly popular choice for the bets. He hasn't caused any casualties since the battle of New York. And the flowers in his hair imply he cares for someone. 

Most of the Avengers do not participate in the betting pool. Those who do don't bet on Loki. 

\--- 

Agent Coulson is captured and held for ransom by Hydra. 

The Avengers are delivered a note. The ransom is not something they're willing to pay. 

They're willing to break him out, of course. Hydra expects that. 

The Avengers expect that Hydra expects it. They underestimate how much, though. 

\--- 

The next time Loki meets Agent Coulson, it is on the battlefield. Nothing is different and Loki doesn't expect it to be. 

One coffee is not enough to change their dynamic. It never would have been. 

Loki goes back to the coffee shop. 

Agent Coulson goes back to the coffee shop as well. 

Weekly meetings for lunch and weekend attempted murders isn't an auspicious beginning. But it is interesting. 

And neither of them have ever been boring. 

\--- 

Loki doesn't often go out for mundane reasons. Phil can tell that whatever he's disappearing for must be important. 

He doesn't pry, though. It gives him time to shop for rings. 

Loki is, unbeknownst to him, doing the same. 

\--- 

The current winner(s) of SHIELD's rose betting pool are: 

-Wide Categories: An Agent of SHIELD 

-Small Categories: An Avenger 

-Specific People: Natasha Romanov 

Never let it be said that SHIELD doesn't feed off of drama. The concept is obviously outlandish, but the sheer ridiculousness of the prospect is what makes it so alluring. 

Why Natasha? She's the only Avenger who can definitely braid hair. 

Natasha herself isn't particularly fond of this speculation. 

\--- 

The first person they send to save Agent Coulson is Natasha. 

She's a hard person to get the drop on. But infiltrating a Hydra base, especially one where they're expecting you, would be difficult even for the best of spies. 

They send Clint in next. Like Natasha, he does not come back out. 

Hydra sends a second ransom note. For three people this time. 

\--- 

They go on their walk. At first it's just through town, then through the outskirts, and then they're walking alone. 

"So," Loki starts, "I wanted to talk." 

His hands twists, as though he wants to grab something. Phil slides a hand into his pocket and feels the velvet box inside. 

"We've... been together for a while, and I know- um- I know we talk, sometimes, about wishing we could actually be together sometimes. And I thought..." 

Loki grabs something in his pocket. 

_Well, what are the odds._

\--- 

Loki rolls over in bed to face him. 

"If you're ever in life-threatening danger, and nobody but I can save you, I reserve the right to be a knight in shining armor." 

Phil tucks his hair behind his ear. 

"Of course. And if the reverse is true, I'll be there." 

"Deal." 

\--- 

Coulson isn't particularly enjoying being a captive. At first it's lonely, but then people start getting thrown in with him. 

He missed his teammates, but he'd prefer the loneliness. 

There are seven people in a cell. They're usually grouped into The Avengers. 

Hydra probably can't believe their luck. 

While the others frantically attempt escape, Coulson reflects on how little time Hydra will really have to enjoy it. 

\--- 

Phil settles on ordering a ring custom. He's not going to find one here. He's already got something in mind. 

Loki buys a plain but tasteful band made of titanium. He gets to work customizing it himself. 

Phil ends up with a silver ring and a very carefully shaped diamond. Shaped, specifically, like a rose. 

Loki carves a repeating pattern of interlocking roses onto the inside of the band. Nobody but the wearer need know they're there. 

\--- 

Clint is trying to chip away the walls with a spoon. 

A chill blows through the cell. Air raises on the back of Coulson's arms. 

While everyone else murmurs, concerned, he smiles. 

\--- 

Loki offers him a ring, eyes squeezed shut. When he finally peels them open, he finds an mirror of his own pose- and a difference ring. 

"Is that a yes?" 

Phil plucks the titanium engagement ring from the box. He offers Loki the silver one and he takes it. 

"Of course it's a yes, Loki." 

"I see we went with the same theme." 

"What, roses? Yeah, we did." 

\--- 

SHIELD's betting pool on Loki's hair is finally stopped. 

The only people who dared vote for Agent Coulson gain absolutely ridiculous winnings. 

The agency is completely incredulous for weeks. 

\--- 

"Is it suddenly freezing in here, or is it just me?" 

A cut-off scream echoes down the hall. Everyone jumps. 

Coulson takes a few seconds to mourn his secrets. There's never going to be a better double agent. 

It's worth the sacrifice, of course, to be saved. 

And maybe to see the looks on everyone's faces. 

\--- 

Loki tells him, the second time he braids his hair, what it means in his culture. 

"Hair is important on Asgard. This," he gestures back at the half finished french braid, "is something typically only done by family or..." 

He trails off. 

"Family or what?" 

"A spouse." 

Phil Coulson is not a man who blushes easily. But he is still a man, and he can still blush. 

"Oh." 

He goes back to braiding Loki's hair. The god shivers, reaching back to brush his hand along Phil's own, and then leans into the touch. 

\--- 

They end up buying the house in Norway. They don't get to go very often, but sharing a home with his fiance is plenty. 

They're still a secret, though, so Phil puts his ring on a chain and wears it under his shirt, and Loki does the same. 

Someone flirts with Phil at work. A bold move, certainly, but an unwise one. 

"I'm taken," he deadpans, and goes on his way. 

He gets two more votes in the betting pool. 

\--- 

The first thing Phil notices, when Loki unlocks the cell door, is that his hair is down. 

The first thing everyone else notices is that it's Loki, but he already knew that. 

"What are you doing here?" 

Clint looks furious. He doesn't know Loki is here to save him, but he could be a bit less aggressive. 

Loki raises an eyebrow to the question, but he doesn't bother responding. 

"Your hair is down," Phil comments. 

"It is. You see, my hairdresser was kidnapped, and none of his teammates managed to save him." 

"Did I? I hadn't noticed." 

"Damn," Natasha interrupts, "I lost the bet." 

\--- 

Sometimes, they'll discuss how they think the Avengers would react. 

"Thor, I think, would be happy." 

"Probably. I think Rogers would be suspicious, but he'd warm to it." 

"Barton would be so mad." 

"Oh, definitely." 

\--- 

Loki offers his hand. Phil takes it and lets his husband pull him to his feet. 

He chokes back a laugh. Now isn't really the time. 

"So," he turns back to the others, still holding Loki's hand, "you coming?" 

They are. Of course. 

\--- 

The wedding isn't actually a wedding. 

After all, they are each other's secret, and a wedding with no guests sounds rather sad. 

They go back to Norway to elope instead. It's not a legally binding marriage, but they did exchange rings. 

\--- 

SHIELD sends quite a few agents to save the Avengers and are extremely surprised to find the Hydra base burned to the ground. 

The Avengers, on further inspection, are somehow back in their tower. 

\--- 

"I love you." 

"You... what?" 

"I love you." 

Loki tugs at the roses in his hair. A nervous tic? Adorable. 

\--- 

"So how long have you two... y'know." 

"I don't know, actually. How long have we been what?" 

"I haven't figured that out yet, so, uh... what are you and how long have you been whatever that is?" 

"Well, we've known each other for four years, been friends for three, been dating for two, and..." 

Phil purposely trails off, letting the Director enter the room. He reaches behind him to grab Loki's hand and feels the two wedding bands clink against each other. 

Good. They're equally dramatic. 

He raises their joined hands and finishes his sentence. 

"...we've been married for six months." 

There's a chorus of crashes as everyone drops whatever they were holding. 

And someone falls over. 

\--- 

"So you're a double agent, I'm assuming?" 

"You assume correctly, Director. Only took you four years." 

\--- 

Thor demands the two return to Asgard with him- or at least Loki. 

Director Fury wants Coulson to stay with SHIELD. And preferably Loki as well. 

The Avengers have mixed opinions, but the general consensus is for the duo to be with them. 

Loki and Coulson share the briefest of smiles. 

\--- 

The world notices when Loki gains a teammate. The fact that this teammate is- or was- part of the Avengers aids to the confusion. 

Those who had been dedicated to the grand mystery of Loki's hair make the connection immediately. 

\--- 

While three parties argue over who gets to keep two people, said two people murmur to each other, left out of the conversation. 

It's not a question of what they want to do now, it's how they want to do it. 

\--- 

The Avengers could, perhaps, be more strict with their rules. 

A Norse God and an Ex-Teammate drop by often, for movies or for information or simply to hang out. 

SHIELD claims it is better. In reality, the organization is simply better at covering for the guests. 

\--- 

Asgard attempts to collect their lost prince and his accomplice from the tower. 

"Oh, sorry," Clint tells them, "they're not here." 

Stuffed one room over in a closet, Loki stifles his laughter. 

\--- 

Busy screaming something about extradition treaties with aliens, everyone is too busy to notice the subjects of conversation slip away onto the balcony. 

"And where the hell are you two going?" 

Coulson pulls his arm around Loki's waist and lets them tip back, off the edge of the building, hand pulled up in a mock salute. 

Loki summons the Tesseract from his pocket dimension- one of the very first things they did, once they started working together, was steal it- and spins a portal around them. 

The last thing he sees before everything goes blue is the incredulous looks on everyone's faces. 

\--- 

Loki's abrupt switch from supervillian to mildly mischievous vigilante is so interesting that it's only overshadowed by Coulson's switch from paragon Avenger, abider of all laws, to completely illegal vigilante best friend of a criminal. 

Which of these is more surprising is furious debate. 

For some reason known only to the two of them, they decide to fan the flames rather than put them out. 

The Avengers are more than willing to engage in cryptic banter mid-battle. 

\--- 

A few months after the reveal, they schedule a proper wedding and invite all their friends. Most of these friends turn it down for legal reasons, sneaking in instead. 

Technically it's a vow renewal, actually, as they're already married. 

They wear black dress and a white suit with silver roses sewn into them. Loki's hair is done up in a braid so complicated it took nearly an hour to do. 

Permission is granted to release the wedding photos to the internet. Predictably, it goes ballistic. 

They crash every major social media website within five hours. 

\--- 

For weeks, one photo is brought up again and again. Phil prints it out and frames it on their bedside table. 

It's the two of them caught mid-laugh, hands tangled together while showing the rings, absolutely surrounded by white roses. 

It's perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> is it coherent? who knows! anyway you may have noticed this is part of a series- that's because i plan on writing a lot more of this kind of thing. so if you're one of the two other people on the planet who likes this ship, you could stick around for that.


End file.
